Today’s mess: ProtoLoaf Type-C, jasmine-style rice substitute.
Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.
Alert: System variance detected.
Dorsal Accessway (Section 3) water pressure of 552 kPa exceeds nominal.
Alert: Pod 15, Decks 6-10 water pressure of 219 kPa below nominal.
Reminder: Please consult the posted acceleration schedules prior to moving large objects into accessways.
Reminder: Items blocking access to critical ship systems may be relocated without notice to maintain optimal safety clearances.
Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.
@scrabtree You need me to cover your class again?
That won’t be necessary. It is my class after all.
Of course.
Oh! But I could use your help grading their most recent assignment. A third of the submissions are corrupted, and I can’t tell if the issue is on their end or ours.
I’ll see what I can do.
just let me be lonely Chang
But you have ME! I’m eternal and terrible!
that’s the problem: you’re the most stable relationship in my life and you once spent three hours convinced you were a sandwich
To be fair, Zalmux raised a very compelling point about the nature of containment!
you kept asking people to eat you
I CONTAIN MULTITUDES OF MEANING.
Reminder: The proper designation for the starboard emergency access panel in Pod 12 on Deck 4 is SEC-12-S4, not “that yellow thing by the stairs.” We have nomenclature for a reason.
Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.
@arvin You have “mobile protein futures” listed on the manifest.
Yes, market research shows strong demand!
OK but what is it?
Vats of bacteria. Engineered strains optimized for different flavor profiles.
@arvin That’s not on the Lukou biosecurity declaration.
It’s not leaving the ship!
It’s bacteria!
The vats are sealed.
And you haven’t unsealed the vats for any reason since departure, have you?
Ah, it’s hard to say.
On it.
Ah, as it so happens, we happen to have some biosecurity scanners in stock. Can I interest you in a few @dmitri?
How convenient.
@kenv
Of course I looked.
@kenv I have completed my analysis, and there is no pelican riding a bicycle in any of the star formations that Joy has observed thus far.
I’m sorry. What?
I have collected stellar positions at each of Joy’s known observation times, filtered for those within the human-visible range, and analyzed each permutation of edges drawn between those stars.
None of these could accurately be described as “a pelican riding a bicycle”.
I think you missed the point of the exercise.
Explain.
Joy’s playing a game. Finding shapes that aren’t really there is the point.
So the activity is deliberately misleading.
Yeah. It’s fun.
@ship
Alert: Pod 15, Decks 6-10 water pressure of 219 kPa below nominal.
Pod 15 water pressure now nominal.