Today’s mess: ProtoLoaf Type-E, baked starch lattices, bean sprouts (while supplies last).
Special: Boof Tetrazzini
Special: Boof Tetrazzini
Alert: Hazard bearing 271°/+143°.
Time to CPA: 41m
Complexity: 1
Time to CPA: 41m
Complexity: 1
Monitoring. Risk within acceptable parameters.
@ship
Alert: Forward Engineering Ring (Dorsal Quadrant), Decks 1-4 humidity of 34% below nominal.
Forward Engineering Ring (Dorsal Quadrant) humidity now nominal.
Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.
@ship The lighting in the Aft Engineering Ring keeps flickering. Can you check the circuits?
Preliminary analysis indicates this is expected behavior. The flicker pattern is consistent with standard power cycling during equipment diagnostics.
Oh. Is someone running diagnostics right now?
Negative.
So … it’s not expected behavior then.
You’re absolutely right. This is not expected behavior. Would you like me to run a diagnostic?
@xlbo I think this is your problem now.
Thank you. I’ll take a look.
@ship
Alert: Pod 11, Decks 1-6 water pressure of 185 kPa below nominal.
Pod 11 water pressure now nominal.
Alert: System variance detected.
Aft Engineering Ring (Port Quadrant) lighting spectrum of 9573K exceeds nominal.
@ship
Aft Engineering Ring (Port Quadrant) lighting spectrum of 9573K exceeds nominal.
Aft Engineering Ring lighting now nominal.
Reminder: Please do not consume the samples in the Pod 7 refrigeration unit labeled “SAMPLES - DO NOT CONSUME”.
Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.
I found a datacell in Pod 10 about an hour ago. If it’s yours, give me a ping.
Have you tried opening it? Maybe it says who it belongs to.
That seems invasive. And I’m not sure I want to know what’s on the cell.
What’s the worst that could happen?
There are a lot of terrible things on the feeds, Ife!
I can extrapolate based on public location tracking but I cannot share location data with you unless the person or persons being located authorize you to see their location history.
@ship, can you privately message the person you believe is the probable owner of this datacell *without* telling us who that person is?
Negative. Confirming a message or messages were sent could inadvertently reveal private information you are not authorized to see.
@ship, can you privately message the person you believe is the probable owner of this datacell *without* telling us whether any message was sent at all?
Negative. In the event that there are multiple probable persons, the persons messaged could extrapolate from said messages private information beyond what is necessary to effect recovery of the datacell.
@ship Are there multiple probable persons?
I’m sorry, but I am not authorized to share with you that information.
Negative. As an artificial construct, I do not possess teeth.
That wasn’t a query.
Acknowledged.
I can, but it’s for emergencies only. Is this an emergency?
I suppose not.
Just hold onto it. These things tend to sort themselves out.
@murat Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?
Neither. I’m fine with ducks. Horses too.
Assume the duck and horses are PROBLEMS.
Well, then I fight whichever is the bigger problem.
That’s not an answer!
Sure it is. Context matters. Is the duck mad? Are the horses committing crimes? What are the police doing here?
You’re no fun.
I’ve been told.
Lou is a fine chef, but a person can’t survive on Nutrigrain alone.
But you can! That’s the whole point of Nutrigrain.
Would you like one croissant or two today, Lou?
Two please.
Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.
Alert: Pod 6 oxygen level of 23.5% exceeds nominal.
Oh great! I’m in the middle of something right now but I can be in the Pod 6, Deck 9 common area in 30 minutes if you want to pick it up there.
I can do that. Thank you, Nia.
@ship What constraints do you have around monitoring passengers?
I am restricted from sharing any information deemed private pursuant to Section 7(a) of the Interstellar Passengers Union Model Carriage Contract unless authorized by the passenger.
Examples of such information include, but are not limited to, conversation details, location, velocity, eye movement, gait, acoustic patterns, personal belongings, clothing status, dietary choices, aromatic emissions, and hygienic actions.
I understand you can’t share that, but you still track it though, correct?
Affirmative. I monitor all public areas of the ship for safety and security purposes.
But not private areas?
Affirmative. I do not monitor areas of the ship deemed private pursuant to Section 7(b) of the Interstellar Passengers Union Model Carriage Contract.
Examples of such places include, but are not limited to, sleeping quarters, sanitation facilities, hydrotherapy facilities, immersive reality centers, and any location where copulative activites have occurred at least three times in the past 60 days.
if it’s any consolation, watching folks take a shit is not my idea of a good time
@ship Do these restrictions extend to all constructs on the ship?
Affirmative.