Alert: Aft Hull, Decks 7-11 network connectivity of 37% below nominal.
Today’s mess: ProtoLoaf Type-E, baked starch cylinders, 52 tomatoes, first come first serve.
@ship
Alert: Aft Hull, Decks 7-11 network connectivity of 37% below nominal.
Aft Hull network now nominal.
Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.
@ship
Alert: Pod 6 oxygen level of 23.5% exceeds nominal.
Pod 6 oxygen level now nominal.
Advisory: All systems nominal.
No, it’s not. The coffee’s bad again.
Coffee is not a recognized ship system.
Do you have any idea how many coffee dispensers we have around the ship? It’s absolutely a ship system.
I don’t care who’s responsible; get it fixed.
On it.
Attention all crew and passengers: Please do not attempt to reset your cabin’s climate control systems by repeatedly opening and closing the door. It does not work.
Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.
Lunar 7s tonight at 21:00, Pod 6, Deck 9 common area! Who’s in?
In.
Yeah, sure.
I guess I’ll come lose again.
I don’t understand how I’m this bad at cards. I’m good at strategy games!
You tap the table twice when you’re bluffing.
Wait, really?
Maybe.
This is extremely distressing information.
@niah
This is extremely distressing information.
@chang, isn’t that the sort of private information you’re restricted from sharing without explicit authorization?
I don’t need authorization to lie.
That seems worse.
@chang
I don’t need authorization to lie.
Wait, so I don’t have a tell?
I didn’t say that.
@chang, what is my tell when bluffing?
You tap the table three times when you’re bluffing.
ughhh
@chang
You tap the table three times when you’re bluffing.
Definitely worse.
My protocols prevent me from intentionally misleading the crew.
But we’re not crew.
Acknowledged.
I perceive a superposition of realities. The collapse of the wave function does not signal a cosmic constant but merely the alignment of teleological telemetry.
Right. I don’t know what I was expecting.
Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.
@pgilani Did you move my dart board again?
It was blocking access to SEC-02-2P.
That panel hasn’t been opened in six months.
And when we need to open it, your dart board won’t be in the way.