@ship
Tukkasotka has transited.
Scheherazade has transited.
Today’s mess: Phish Pflakes, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Potato!, assorted herbs.
Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.
@ship
Scheherazade has transited.
Jatayu has transited.
Alert: System variance detected.
Pod 14 coffee caffeination of 1063 mg/L exceeds nominal.
What the hell is that?
I believe it’s a raccoon.
HOW IS THERE A RACCOON ON THE SHIP?
That’s not on the manifest.
No shit. It’s a fucking biohazard. We have to get rid of it.
Are we sure it’s a biohazard?
@ship, do raccoons carry diseases that affect humans?
Raccoons are known carriers of several significant diseases and parasites known to affect humans, including the rabies virus, roundworm, and leptospira.
Fucking hell.
@ship
Raccoons are known carriers of several significant diseases and parasites known to affect humans, including the rabies virus, ro…
@bethchen, do we have treatments for potential raccoon pathogens?
Um, no. Rabies isn’t a typical concern during interstellar travel. We could synthesize … something. But I’m not sure we have the biologics for a proper vaccine.
Of course, we wouldn’t. Who the fuck puts a raccoon on a spaceship?
On it, Captain.
Excuse me?
Take the day off. I know you’re worrying about what headache we’re going to have with customs at Esmeralda, but I also know that’s some 20-odd weeks away and there is precisely zero things for you to that can’t wait a day.
You’re the boss, Jo.
@ship
Jatayu has transited.
Pato de la Suerte has transited.
@jkap, we have a slight issue. Allow me to demonstrate.
@ship Where is the raccoon on this ship?
I’m sorry, but I am not authorized to share that information with you.
What’s going on here?
@ship Security officer’s override: Where is the raccoon on this ship?
I’m sorry, but I am not authorized to share that information with you.
Are you kidding me?
Negative.
I’ve tried a dozen variations, but they’re all the same. Ship refuses to tell me where the raccoon is.
I am restricted from sharing any information deemed private pursuant to Section 7(a) of the Interstellar Passengers Union Model Carriage Contract unless authorized by the passenger.
The raccoon is not a passenger!
Negative. The raccoon meets the definition of a passenger specified in Section 7(c)(iii) of the Interstellar Passengers Union Model Carriage Contract.
That’s ridiculous. It’s a raccoon! It’s not even paying us!
Pursuant to FSNC Regulation 372:8188-100.9(c)(ix), the default privacy provisions of the Interstellar Passengers Union Model Carriage Contract apply even if a passenger has not yet furnished payment or agreed to the terms of service.
@ship, I should be able to override as the Chief Security Officer though, right?
Pursuant to FSNC Regulation 372:8188-100.9(c)(xii), a passenger may not be presumed to consent to a security officer’s override until they have agreed to the terms of service.
You’re fucking kidding me.
Negative.
@kenv
You’re fucking kidding me.
Kenji, I said to take the day off.
OK, but this is clearly an urgent legal problem.
Alert: Dorsal Accessway (Section 8) waste processing effectiveness of 90.9% below nominal.
Yes Captain. Let me see if there is anything I can do.
@ship
Pato de la Suerte has transited.
Initiating rotational thrust.
Initiating counter thrust.
Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.
@ship
Initiating counter thrust.
Counter thrust complete. Return trajectory established.
Alert: Aft Hull, Decks 15-17 power grid stability of 90% below nominal.
Alert: Pod 3, Decks 9-13 power grid stability of 78% below nominal.
Attention ISP students. @marikim will be covering @scrabtree’s courses until further notice. Please check your private inboxes for schedule adjustments.
Director, Professor Crabtree is my research advisor. Do I need someone else now?
No, this is just a temporary arrangement, Ife. But if you have questions in the meantime, Dr. Kim is fully qualified to guide your studies.
We’re evaluating that. I’ll provide updates as available.
Alert: Pod 11, Decks 9-10 power grid stability of 83% below nominal.
@ship
Alert: Dorsal Accessway (Section 8) waste processing effectiveness of 90.9% below nominal.
Dorsal Accessway (Section 8) waste processing now nominal.
@ship, are raccoons allergic to chocolate?
Chocolate contains theobromine and is known to be toxic to many animals, including raccoons.
Oh dear.
Technically, most of the stuff I’ve been supplying you is synth-chok. It’s hard to get real cacao out here.
I’m not sure how I feel about that, Lou.
Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.
@ship
Alert: Pod 11, Decks 9-10 power grid stability of 83% below nominal.
Pod 11 power grid now nominal.
Anyone need polycarbon mesh? We’ve got about 40 meters left over from last week’s project. Free to good home before I recycle it.
Could use maybe 5 meters for the hydroponics expansion. Patch job on one of the frames.
All yours. I’ll leave it by our Pod 15 fab, labeled.
@ship
Alert: Aft Hull, Decks 15-17 power grid stability of 90% below nominal.
Aft Hull power grid now nominal.