Today’s mess: Nutripaste (Formula 1), microwaved starch cuboids.
@ship
Pod 14 coffee caffeination of 1063 mg/L exceeds nominal.
Pod 14 coffee systems now nominal.
@ship
Counter thrust complete. Return trajectory established.
Initiating rotational thrust.
Initiating counter thrust.
Counter thrust complete. Commencing deceleration burn.
@ship
Alert: Pod 3, Decks 9-13 power grid stability of 78% below nominal.
Pod 3 power grid now nominal.
Ship time is now 04:00. Now commencing alpha shift.
@arvin, you wouldn’t happen to have any biomedical manufacturing capabilities, would you?
Not exactly. We do have some limited organic synthesis equipment but it’s currently in use.
We might need that equipment to manufacture, uh, raccoon remedies. Any chance you could free it up?
@chef, could we borrow a bioreactor from our little side project?
That’s going to put us behind schedule.
Lou, I don’t know what you and Arvin have going on, but it’s your food stores the raccoon is getting to.
Fine, we’ll make something available.
Thank you for your understanding.
@soomin, there’s what looks like a stress fracture on Pod 6, Deck 4, in corridor 2. Do we need to worry?
Looking.
@soomin
Looking.
It’s fine.
That’s good to hear. Thank you for checking.
@dmitri, we need to do a full inspection of all the cargo we picked up at Lukou. That raccoon came from somewhere.
A full inspection? That’s going to take a couple weeks.
Then start today.
Kenji, with all due respect, are you sure that’s the best use of Dmitri’s time? Knowing how the raccoon got aboard doesn’t change the fact that we’re now responsible for dealing it.
No, but I’ll feel better if I have someone I can sue.
@jkap You have reviewed the same transit congestion contingency plan five times today without approving it.
Just being thorough.
The report is identical to previous submissions. No changes detected.
I know. Approved.
Ship time is now 12:00. Now commencing beta shift.
@murat Any luck tracking our raccoon friend?
No. We’ve had sightings, but it’s not moving in any predictable pattern.
have you tried asking nicely
Chang.
I’m just saying. Maybe the raccoon responds to diplomacy.
Or aliens! hey @zalmux, my ol’ omniscient alien intelligence friend, do you know where the raccoon is?
Its information density does not introduce directional deviations in any meaningful sense.
that’s not a no
No.
Alert: Hazard bearing 128°/+63°.
Time to CPA: 47m
Complexity: 2
Time to CPA: 47m
Complexity: 2
Monitoring. Risk within acceptable parameters.
Ship time is now 20:00. Now commencing gamma shift.
@rosa, do you think it would be possible to refit one of the maintenance drones with a raccoon trap?
Non-lethal?
That would be prudent, yes.
Maybe. Let’s talk it over in the aft fab.
I’ll be there in 20.